40 Life Lessons Learned in 40 Years

I can’t believe it guys!! 40 freakin’ years roaming and adventuring on this Earth. When I turned 39 last year, I genuinely considered checking my birth certificate just to make sure we didn’t screw up somewhere along the way. But then I remembered being at each of my birthdays, (yes I did a quick mental run-through), and realized that no error was made. I have had the past 365 days to warm up to turning the big 4-0, and that’s a fair amount of time to reflect. I wanted to compile a list of really important lessons I have learned along the way, because hey! I’m 40 now, and I’ve learned a thing or two.

1. Accept compliments by saying ‘thank you’. To reject a compliment is not only insulting to yourself, but to the compliment-giver.
2. Never apologize for your talents; don’t play small to appease others.
3. Don’t be afraid to raise your hand in class. Whether it’s because you know the answer or have a question; your voice is important.
4. Go where the love is. Find people who lift you up, and accept nothing less from relationships.
5. Always have your sibling’s back. Family first; the end.
6. Look people in the eye when you are talking or listening to them This is a beautiful part of human connection, and to look elsewhere is to miss out on an opportunity to relate.
7. ‘No’, is a complete sentence.
8. Forgive often. Holding on to a resentment is like taking poison, and expecting the other person to die.
9. Treat everyone with the same kindness. You never know someone’s back-story, and you never know who you might be talking to. The person you piss off today could be signing your paychecks tomorrow.
10. Never cut your own bangs.
11. Don’t be afraid to be the first person on the dance floor. Life is too short not to dance.
12. Be your own hype-girl. Always speak well of yourself–don’t put yourself down. You are your best advocate.
13. When it comes to dressing yourself, always leave something to the imagination; less isn’t always more.
14. Another woman’s beauty /intelligence / talent can never take away from your own. Don’t compare, and never feel less-than because someone else is also beautiful / intelligent / talented.
15. The most beautiful quality a woman can have, is confidence.
16. You are the company you keep, so associate with people you respect and admire.
17. Being kind will always be more important than being ‘cool’.
18. Other people’s opinions of you, are none of your business. More important, is what you think of other people. Most important, is what you think of yourself.
19. Make a daily gratitude list. No matter what is going on in life, you can always find 10 things to be grateful for.
20. When it comes to romance, water seeks its own level. So does sewage.
21. When speaking of others, ask yourself these 3 questions: ‘is it kind?’, ‘is it necessary?’, ‘is it true?’
22. Trust your gut. That is your God-given GPS.
23. When you are a guest, always ask the host(ess) if you can help with anything. Most of the time they will say ‘no’, but the gesture is always appreciated, (and you’ll probably be invited back).
24. Always be unapologetically You. Own your opinions, beliefs and values no matter what.
25. MInd your thoughts. Our thoughts become reality and shape our entire experience.
26. Always ALWAYS put away your shopping cart. This is an easy way to practice having integrity.
27. If 3 or more people are being a$$ holes in one day; you might be the a$$ hole. Check in with yourself and refer to #19 for an instant attitude adjustment.
28. People are operating at the highest level they know. Give people grace easily.
29. There is no ‘there’ over there; there’s just more ‘here’. Learn to be present in and enjoy each moment you are in.
30. Don’t replace phone calls with texting. Pick up the phone and talk to the people you love.
31. Buy the good toilet paper.
32. The grass is greener where you water it. Tend to the relationships that matter to you, especially your marriage.
33. When you’re mad at someone, apply the rule of 5; will it matter in 5 minutes? In 5 hours? In 5 days? In 5 weeks? In 5 months? In 5 years? Most things aren’t as unforgivable as they might seem.
34. Exercise because you love yourself, not to punish yourself.
35. Affirmations are a powerful way to practice choosing your thoughts. And they work.
36. ‘Someday’ or ‘Tomorrow’ or ‘Monday’ never come. Start NOW.
37. Speaking of which, you can start your day over at any time.
38. In the words of Robert Kiyosaki, ‘Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.’
39. In the words of me, the difference between people who succeed and people who don’t, is that the people who succeed do not quit. They keep going no matter what.
40.  You can’t give away what you don’t have; and you can’t keep it if you don’t give it away. Tend to yourself. Care for yourself. Honor yourself. And then give freely of what you have.

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