How Motherhood Made Me More Creative

When I was a kid I loved to draw. I loved to sing. I loved to act. I loved to dance. And the beauty of it all was that I did so with reckless abandon. I had no fear about being judged, I just created because it was what I loved to do. It’s part of what makes children so pure, I think. The complete lack of awareness that anyone might be watching or worse yet, judging.

As I got older, [insert puberty], the perils of insecurity and self-doubt began to take their toll on my ability to create freely. I continued to create in the ways that I loved, but I did so in secrecy and in the confines of my lavender-painted bedroom walls.

As I emerged in to adulthood I became busy and preoccupied with silly things like paying the electric bill and holding a job. I found some creative outlets like working in film production and joining an improv / sketch comedy theater group, but eventually drifted away from it again and stopped creating with the reckless abandon that I once had.

Enter motherhood. For me, early motherhood looked like a lot of ‘down-time’, something I was not used to. Nothing could have prepared me for how much downtime and alone(ish) time I would have as a new mom, and at times I felt a little crazy-town. Also, when you are home a lot, you begin to critique and dislike everything about your house. Which led me to the endless tail-chase of home improvement ‘projects’.

In a sense, I began nesting again. I would find little projects on Pinterest, and do them. I would try to do the projects while Ayden was asleep, but she would inevitably wake up mid-crafting sesh. I started to notice that when I was creating, her energy was super calm because my energy was super calm. It was like my creativity was soothing for both of us, so I started allowing myself to create in ways that I hadn’t in years.

What has happened is that in allowing myself to be the creative being that I was always intended to be, I have gained a deeper understanding and appreciation of who I am at my core. It has also allowed me to see others as creative beings, and to appreciate their abilities rather than feel threatened by them.

I firmly believe that my creativity is directly related to my spirituality. When I create, I feel connected to the Universe. When I feel connected to the Universe, I am at peace. And when I am at peace, I am a better human.

So I started this blog. I started doing little DIY projects. And in creating this space in which I allow myself to be vulnerable and imperfect, messy and reckless; I have found a wonderful little creative outlet. I urge you to find an outlet, if you haven’t already. I urge you to let go of whatever holds you back from being the creative being that you were born to be, because we are all artists in our own right.

If you feel like it, drop a line in the comments below sharing how you create with reckless abandon. Or about what holds you back. Or about anything really; I would love to hear from you.

xo, Em

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